Remembrance of Things Past
by teesloverB01
Summary: After his fight with Wally, Dick needs time to think and he needs someone to talk to. He's confused and just needs to let it out. So he goes to the one person he knows will listen. Jason Todd.


A/N: Ok, so for the purposes of this story, let's assume that the Hall of Justice has a "grotto," too. It's just gonna be a room, though, above ground. That's where Dick is here.

Umm, a little OOC and a little bit angsty, so watch out.

Disclaimer: I don't think I should own anything YJ related.

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Dick walked around the Hall of Justice, thinking about Wally's accusations. He stopped in front of a room where the League placed memorials for all of their fallen. Inside, amongst others, were the four heroes who were previously in the Cave's grotto. He walked over to the hologram of Jason Todd and stared up at him for a while before speaking.

"Hey, little bro. A whole lot of crap has been going on and I don't even know what I'm doing here, but hey, the door was open." He smiled sadly.

"Tim's doing great as Robin, by the way. Why am I telling you that? You probably don't want to know that your replacement…. Heh, never mind. He's not replacing you, Tim's just… I don't even know." Dick glanced around the room, taking in everyone who was lost in the recent years, his eyes resting on Artemis and Tula.

"Wally blames me the most for all the stuff that's happened.. They all do. Wally blames me for Artemis, Kaldur for Tula…. Bruce for you…. I blame myself for you. And in addition to that, when the League finds out, it'll be my fault. Everything will be my fault. " He leaned back against a wall.

"Sometimes I wish you were still alive and I'm the one up on that pedestal, taking your place. I can't help but think that I've been making all the wrong decisions. Wally thinks that we shouldn't put so much trust in Kaldur. Like he's the bad guy now."

"What am I supposed to do? If I side with Wally, I lose Kaldur's trust in me. But what if Wally's right? What if Kal is betraying us? That means I've lost him and Artemis. On the other hand, if I keep going along with the plan, Wally's going to hate me even more. Who do I trust?" Dick gazed at Jason's image, like he was expecting it to answer him.

"What am I even doing here talking to a freaking hologram?! I can't talk to Tim, definitely not Bruce. Lately, it's like the only people I can ever feel comfortable around are all dead! I mean, what's wrong with me? I can't even pick a side because I can't… I can't lose anyone else. There's been so many and the pain's just too much. I'm hanging by a thread here, Jay. Things were so much simpler a few years ago."

Dick heard his com link beep and Tim's voice rang in his ear. "Dick, Canary wants to talk to us about, I don't know, something useless, but she wants you there."

"Yeah, tell her I'll be there in a minute."

Silence followed for a second before Tim continued, "I know that you're talking to Jason again and I can tell Dinah that…"

"I'll be there. Don't worry about it." Dick interrupted, hearing faint shuffling on the other side of the door, aware that Tim was there.

"Look, you know, you have to stop doing this. Stop shutting everyone out. I'm here for you and so is everyone else, I know sometimes it doesn't always seem like it, but you just have to let them in."

"Tim, please go."

"I know you blame yourself, but you have to let go. You-"

His sentence was cut off as Dick ripped the device out of his ear and threw it down. He looked back up at the holographic statue and tears made their way down to the floor.

"I am so sorry, Jason. You know what hurts the most? I didn't even say goodbye to you. What good am I if I can't even keep the people I care about safe?! Am I really helping at all?" He slid down the wall, running his fingers through his hair.

After a couple minutes, Dick rose from his spot on the floor. "I'm not losing anyone else, I won't." Then, casting one last look back, he walked out and shut the door.

_**Hermann Hesse wrote, "People think it is holding on that makes you stronger, but sometimes it's letting go."**_

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A/N: Well, that felt…. Ehh… I know, its not even that good, but it was angsty, though right? And I don't really think Dick feels like this. Maybe a liitle bit, but not as much as he does here.

I don't know if this is totally accurate, but this is my mind's workings so yeah. :)

I hope so. Anyway, please review! And thank you for reading! :)

BTW: Stupid CN and it's last-minute rescheduling. *grumble grumble*


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